


gold (i fell into your spell)

by allisonlydia, softshock, softshocks



Category: Supergirl (Comics), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Give Lena Luthor A Good Mother Figure 2kForever, chef!lena and artist!kara, dianne guerrero as maggie sawyer always, no mon-el but maybe we'll introduce him just so kara can punch him into non-existence again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 00:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11368737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisonlydia/pseuds/allisonlydia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/softshock/pseuds/softshock, https://archiveofourown.org/users/softshocks/pseuds/softshocks
Summary: “i’m thinking of opening a restaurant.”it’s out in the open, now there’s no turning back.—or the one where lena and kara explore their own multitudes and capabilities, beyond being the l-corp ceo, and a cat co journalist doubling as supergirl. also there's a kid they absolutely adore. it's a domestic au, basically.





	gold (i fell into your spell)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!!! Nikki (natashass) here, for the first chapter of this fic, aka Lena’s pov. I’d been watching too many episodes of Chef’s Table, then I talked to Kathryn about this and it just… happened. 
> 
> I’ve also been reading so much supercorp the past few months omggg I need an IV drip of them at this point.
> 
> This is an absolute monster of a collab with Kathryn, the loml and the one who helped me with the Korrasami roommate au yeaaars ago. This was really difficult but she got me through it, and is still getting me through it. Love you. 
> 
> The fic title is from Howling by RY X and we would strongly recommend you all listen to it! And the chapter title is from this poem which we both adore: http://sleepwalking.nu/post/149594845887/you-run-in-me-a-tang-of-salt-in-the-creek-waters  
> Enjoy!!! <3

The day is barely over, but Lena wants it _done_ with.

There were two meetings—tedious ones, which have managed to simultaneously bore and frustrate her, in the most spectacular fashion. She’s well aware and has first hand experience of just how dull and grey corporate life was. But misogynistic male board members take the cake of being the worst part of being the CEO of L-Corp.

The greyness, sometimes, she could work around. The misogyny, not so much.

(“You look angry today, Miss Luthor. Has your monthly visitor arrived?” There is a collective laughter that fills the meeting room, attempts to choke her. 

“The only thing that will be visiting me monthly is a salary higher than yours will ever be, Mr. Glenn,” Lena bares her teeth, pulling her face into a positively feral smile. Satisfaction is a feeling she indulges in as often as she can, and she feels it fill her to the brim when she fires him, on the spot. Reputation be damned.

Maybe she’s a bitch, but she finds it hard to care. Making sure than men know she is not a thing to be walked over is as important as finding the perfect red wine to settle into her sofa with after a particularly taxing day.)

 _I deserve this_ , Lena repeats to herself, heels clicking against the pavement as she walks to the park closest to L-Corp. Her fists clench and unclench as she works her jaw. She deserves a lunch out, away from the office, from the constant _catastrophe_ ebbing away at her temples, her sanity.

 _I deserve this_ , Lena thinks, putting one foot in front of the other a little faster because she knows it brings her closer to Kara.

 

* * *

 

She repeats the _I deserve this_ mantra the entire walk to the park, wrists loose. She prepares to see Kara, who doesn’t deserve to be around her tense demeanour.

Though Lena isn’t prepared to see Kara settled right next to a small child seated in a wheelchair, with a sketchpad resting across her cross legged thighs. Lines are drawn and smoothed and redrawn again as she works. Kara’s brow furrows, scar shadowed and tongue peeking out slightly from the corner of her mouth. Any other thoughts Lena might have had dissolve and are immediately replaced with I don’t deserve _her_.

_Is that a smudge of grey-black across her cheekbone, the corner of her mouth? Her neck? How did she even manage—_

It’s too much for Lena’s heart, really, to see Kara like this. It’s the annual Cerebral Palsy awareness day, care of the local hospital’s therapy ward. The park is full to the brim with beautiful young people, laughing and smiling, with colourful balloons attached to their wheelchairs.

_Of course, Kara would be here. Kara with her wonderful heart. Kara with her darling heart._

It’s too much for her, so Lena just stands there, looking like a complete imbecile most likely. The sheer wonder filling the young girl’s eyes is what stops Lena though, because it’s such an impossibly intimate moment: Kara sketching, smiling all throughout the process, with the young girl laughing and holding Kara’s other hand.

It’s a pivotal _moment_ and Lena is the intruder.

The girl looks up, just when Lena starts to walk away, and tugs at Kara’s indigo cardigan. It captures Kara’s attention at once, turning towards the girl who then redirects Kara’s gaze towards herself. _Shit._

It’s mesmerising, truly, when Kara lights up at the sight of Lena, as if a thousand shafts of sunlight reside inside of her. Lena feels like she should be used to it by now because it’s the same reaction Kara has every time they see each other. Ever since the first time Clark Kent entered her office, Kara hot on his heels. Yet, she could never, ever get used to Kara Danvers. And never wanted to.

(It’s the same reaction, sometimes, when Supergirl flies by her office, the sky always a perfect backdrop for the Kryptonian, no matter the colour, the fog, the rain—but almost always it seems as if the stars bare themselves for her. The universe bending, bowing, breaking… for another sun.

That’s another point of discussion, one that Lena’s only willing to discuss when Kara realises that she’s as subtle as a brick. A pair of glasses could never fool Lena Luthor.)

“Lena!” Kara exclaims, waving her over to where she’s seated. Open. Welcoming. Never once contributing to the feeling that she was an intruder, silencing the bitter voice in her head to a dull murmur, quelling the usual feelings of disconnect from other people.

Kara gets to her feet, setting the pad to one side, arms wide in excitement of an anticipated embrace. Lena finds herself stepping into Kara’s golden orbit, stepping into that warmth. She smells like vanilla, like honey, like sweetness—everything Lena has attributed to the woman in front of her. The back of her mind is always full of Kara. The front too, if she’s being totally honest with herself.

“Kara. It’s always a wonder to see you.” Lena’s lips curve up instantly, ease and joy washing over her, coating her bones in a solidarity that only Kara provides.

“We saw each other three days ago,” Kara chuckles, squeezing Lena’s shoulders. “Though that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the same. Hi,” she steps aside to introduce the young girl that has been keeping Kara company, kneeling to be eye level with the girl. “This is Charlie, short for Charlemagne—I just had to say that because gosh, her name is just so pretty—she’s ten and her favourite Star Wars character is Princess Leia. Charlie, this is Lena. Her favourite character is Rey,” Kara stage whispers conspiratorially.

Lena follows suit, grinning. Charlie reaches for Lena’s hand and Lena entwines their fingers. “Hello, Charlie. It’s a pleasure to meet you. You have very good taste in Star Wars characters.” She copies Kara’s whisper, raising a brow at Kara in the process. “My favourite’s actually Leia, the same as you. It’s a secret I keep from Kara.”

Kara feigns a gasp before bursting into giggles, melding with Charlie and Lena’s laughter. “You guys should get to know each other while I wrap this drawing up.” She takes a seat beside Charlie while Lena mentally stores information about the little girl away for future reference. Favourite trio? The new trio. Favourite movie? _The Empire Strikes Back._ Least favourite villain? Jar Jar Binks.

(Lena doesn’t have the heart to tell Charlie that Jar Jar isn’t exactly a villain, but Lena can’t find it in herself to argue, the girl _does_ have a point.)

“Alright, all done here!” Kara exclaims and brandishes her portrait of Charlie for them both to see.

Lena has been to the world’s most prominent museums and she thinks that Kara’s portrait of Charlie should claim an entire gallery wall, an exhibit displaying her sketch alone.

The strokes are meticulous, the charcoal detailing every contour of Charlie’s face, capturing even the young girl’s bright smile, dark eyes and tan skin. They mirrored Charlie’s curly hair and the tiny dimple on her right cheek. Showed how the light seemed to gather all around her, the leaves of the trees casting speckled shadows behind her. It resembled Claude Monet’s sketches, from the way Lena remembered them.

It is beautiful. The drawing—Charlie—is beautiful. _Kara_ is beautiful, maddeningly talented and Lena feels her ribs contract with awe, stomach swimming with adoration.

“I love it!” Charlie grins, taking the page from Kara to inspect it, run her hand over the surface. “You are _such_ a great artist, Kara.”

Lena grins and nods in agreement when Kara looks to her with pink making its way across her cheeks and her neck. “It’s nothing, just a rough sketch of you. If we had more time, I could paint you and make it much, much prettier.” Kara laughs, brushing a hand over her thighs and then up to tug a sleeve down a little.

“It’s gorgeous already,” the young girl isn’t even looking at Kara as she marvels at the artwork. She hugs it gingerly to her chest.“Thank you!”

Kara stands and starts wiping the underside of her hand with a wet wipe to clean off the charcoal there. She’s turning her hands over and over to check if she’s missing any black when Lena decides to do something about the charcoal Kara is unaware of. She would feel like, for lack of a better word, the villain if she let Kara walk around with charcoal all over her face even though she thought she had gotten rid of it. It’s nothing of consequence in the grand scheme of things, but Lena knows Kara would do the same for her.

So, Lena catches her elbow and carefully dabs at her cheekbone and neck to make sure that the rest of the charcoal is gone.

She looks up into those stormy eyes, always so impossibly blue. Her hand trembles slightly where it rests against Kara’s collarbone. Lena tries to open her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing happens. Kara’s hand reaches up to grip at the forearm Lena has resting on her chest. Both visibly swallow, trapped in this eternity.

Reality is brought back with a shout. A woman calls their attention from afar and Kara's eyes pop cartoonishly, as if they were going to roll out of her head at any moment. She clears her throat and drops her hand from Lena, who feels as if the touch branded her skin in the most delectable of ways.

“Y—Your mother’s looking for you already; it’s probably best we get there before she brings Chewie into custody,” she manages to get out after what feels like years pass. Lena does her best to compose herself as subtly as possible.

Charlie clutches a Chewbacca doll sat at her side closer, keeping a careful grip on Kara’s portrait. “Okay, let’s go see Mommy now.”

They take Charlie to her mother, Lena walking beside Kara who pushes Charlie’s wheelchair, laughing as she quizzes Lena’s knowledge on _Super Mario Bros._ secrets.

(Which, Lena will admit much later, is too extensive for a young girl. Kara won’t ever let her forget that she didn’t know the _most essential World-2 pipe secret_ ).

“Charlie, Kara,” Charlie’s mother greets and her eyes fall to Lena. She braces herself for it—the inevitable scorn and sneers that are always aimed in her direction whenever she is recognised, remembers everything attached to her name. The hard anger, the cold fear. Anything at all—but that never comes. “Lena Luthor,” she says, with awe rather than with everything Lena is used to.

It strikes a chord that resonates within her, the pure kindness in the eyes of Charlie’s mother—trusting her to be around her daughter.

“You must be this nerd’s mother,” Lena starts, unsure, brushing Charlie’s shoulder gently. But when the girl squeezes her hand back shortly afterwards, she supposes that her teasing will be positively received, at the very least. “She has excellent taste in pop culture, I must say. Don’t you, Charlie?”

The young girl grins up at her and Lena feels unworthy of the brightness of it, of the adoration that is shockingly mirrored in the glint of Kara’s eyes when she smiles at Lena sometimes. She tries not to think about it too much, and fails miserably.

Charlie grins, her canines missing and Lena is endeared by it. “You bet, Miss Luthor,” she says, her lisp making Lena giggle. “Will I see you and Kara again?”

Kara bends to sit on her heels, Lena doing the same after a short moment of hesitation. “Of course you will!” Kara exclaims, a hand coming up to her face to fix her glasses. “How could I not see my favourite _Super Mario Bros._ grandmaster?”

“Maybe you could teach me that trick that leads you to _World-4_ the next time we see each other.” Lena smiles. “Would that be okay?”

“Yes! I’m so pumped to see you guys!” Charlie looks back to her mother. “Mama, can we?”

Only warmth and kindness. Lena’s still reeling. “Definitely, sweetie,” she says. “How do I reach the two of you?”

Kara hands over her phone faster than Lena can fish out her own. “We didn’t catch your name, ma’am.”

“I’m Claire,” Charlie’s mother replies with a smile directed at both of them. She hands over her phone to Kara and she in turn steers her wheelchair back into her mother’s grasp. “Nice to meet you lovely girls.”

They exchange their goodbyes, leaving Lena and Kara watch Claire and Charlie moving away, balloons dancing in the low sunlight casting colours everywhere in their wake.

“Sorry that I got caught up with Charlie. I mean, that's to say: I’m not sorry to spend time with her, she’s a wonderful kid, I just mean that—” Kara stammers as she obviously tries to get an apology out, but Lena stops her with a firm squeeze to her forearm. She is bashful, charming and ever so lovely. She rubs the back of her neck with her other arm and Lena is gone, so gone.

“Don’t apologise, the only one complaining here is that insatiable monster that resides within your stomach,” Lena teases, arching an eyebrow, feeling proud of her teasing despite how disarmed she feels by this ball of sunlight stood in front of her.

Kara nods, ducking her head slightly as she offers her arm for Lena to take, as she always does.

She threads her arm through Kara’s, grips the firm muscle hidden underneath Kara’s indigo sleeve. Okay, _now_ Lena is gone. “Charlie certainly is a character,” Lena comments, the corners of her mouth lifting up.

Kara grins, nodding. “She really, really is. That wasn’t the first time I’ve met her, actually.”

“Did you draw for her then, too?”

A lovely pink flush washes across Kara’s cheeks again. “Yeah, I did.”

Lena’s heart thuds in her chest. _Pretty, so pretty_. “I’m honestly not surprised in the slightest that Kara Danvers is hiding some Renaissance-level art skills,”

“Ah, I’m not that good—”

Another squeeze to Kara’s arm. “Believe me, Kara. I’ve seen my fair share of art all over the world and the way you sketched Charlie? They pale in comparison.”

The light dusting of pink turns into a deep red flush and Lena, well… she feels proud that she can cause that reaction in Kara.

“If you say so…” she doesn’t seem convinced _at all_ , and Lena decides she should try harder if another opportunity presents itself. “My other works are so-so and I was trying really hard with Charlie’s portrait.”

They exit the park, cross the road and Lena leads Kara to the Michelin star restaurant they’ve been planning to go to for the past three weeks. “I don’t believe you.”

“See for yourself, then,” and Lena can see the slight panic that crosses Kara’s face when Kara says it, as if there was a moment of regret.

“Only if you want me to,” Lena amends for her. Kara nods.

“If there’s anyone I trust with my amateur sketches, it is definitely you, Lena Luthor.” They stop at the restaurant’s front. Kara tilts her head, but she watches Lena with so much fondness that Lena’s heart hurts. “Shall we?”

Lena can’t help but return a smile that she’s sure isn’t half as bright as Kara’s, or even Charlie’s for that matter. “We shall.”

 

It’s nice talking about her day when Kara asks, because Lena knows that the interest she shows in the nitty gritty details is completely and utterly genuine.

She enjoys hearing about Kara’s day too, and honestly, she could never remember life before telling Kara about her day, could never remember her life before lunches with Kara.

(Lena _does_ remember, but she’d rather not think about how lonely it was until Kara and her friends, now _hers_ too, came along.)

“Sometimes I think about how life would turn out if things didn’t happen the way they did,” Lena prods at the wasabi sitting at the corner of her plate. “If Lex were still sane and in charge of LuthorCorp, and I’d still be working in R&D. He was always better dealing with stakeholders, and the stakeholders actually respected him.” She laughs, tired. She doesn’t want to waste any more time thinking about those wretched grey snakes that reside in her boardroom, but they set her on edge, make her blood boil. Her authority should not be questioned, woman or no.

Kara’s brows knit together with concern, looking just about ready to find out who those men in the meetings were. “But you’re so good at at being, you know, _the boss._ You’re the best CEO L-Corp has ever had!”

Lena gives her a small, sad smile. “Just because I’m good at it doesn’t mean I love what I’m doing.”

It was true. All those meetings, all those emails, all those conferences that involve watching men talk about how they help without _actually_ doing anything... It wasn’t her.

(The days drag on and Lena hasn’t been to R&D in ages. She itches to tinker, to play, to take things apart and put them back together again.

This time last year, her hands would be in deep inside a prototype’s machine body, connecting wires, soldering metal, testing currents. There would be soot on her face, tiny hairs sticking to her forehead from working in a semi-air conditioned room.

Now she’s stuck typing emails and studying last week’s notes for another dreaded meeting at seven. Clean face, crisp clothing; no lab coat, no lab.

This isn’t her. This isn’t her at all.)

Kara’s silence, her hand squeezing Lena’s on the table was a sign for her to go on; she listens, so intently and Lena’s heart hurts.

“Sometimes I feel like this is what my mother wanted all along: for me to be miserable, trying to save the company from the muck my brother shoved it into.”

Kara frowns, then purses her lips. She opens her mouth once, then closes it again and watches Lena solemnly for a little while.

Kara's thumb sweeps across the top of Lena's hand as she carefully says: “Are you aware of the good L-Corp has done, for humans and aliens alike? The environment?”

Her brows knit. “I do my work in the hope that it would make everyone’s lives better, yes.”

Kara lights up, brightly smiling at Lena. “Did your Mom ever want that? For you to make L-Corp a force for good?”

“No, I don’t suppose she did.” She ponders on the thought, then settles that her mother would most likely have wanted her to use L-Corp to exploit different sectors of society.

“Lena, you’ve done so much good for other people through your company,” Kara tells her, leaning closer. “You are an exceptional CEO, but most importantly, beyond that role, you are a good—a _wonderful_ person. You have always been a force for good, Lena. L-Corp has just given you the opportunity keep on doing good on a larger scale. But you have always been someone who does things to make everyone’s lives better. The internet certainly sings your praises,” Kara pauses here to grin at her, full beam, aimed right at Lena’s heart. “I imagine you worked on things in the garage of Luthor manor, trying to cure things like cancer, how mute people could better communicate with those around them… If those actions aren’t the definition of selfless, then I don’t know what would be.” 

She recalls her meetings. They were about to utilise their latest prototype to provide clean water without invasive procedures in the most marginalised regions of Africa and South America: cheap, mass produced, friendly to the environment and mostly likely immune to monopolisation. She recalls her emails. Diagrams of the latest tech that would detect the earliest signs of cancer or tumour growths in both aliens and humans. Her library contained both financial reports, and patents upon patents upon patents.

“My Mom—Eliza—always asks me and Alex if we remember the etymology of the word _passion_ ,” Kara continues.

“Suffering,” Lena says quietly, “Passiō means _to suffer_.”

“Right. I’m not saying that you should suffer though! I’m just saying that doing good is your passion and it won’t ever be easy,” Kara gives her a small, intimate smile. “Believe me, I know.”

(Lena had never thought the time where Kara Danvers, _Supergirl,_ the manifestation of all that is just and kind, would call her good. If only her mother had been here; Lillian would have dropped dead probably.)

A part of her believes, thanks to Kara’s earnest and kind features. Another part doesn’t. She’s a Luthor, after all. She fears that it’s still ingrained within her, ready to spring out any moment.

But Kara looks at her, open and trusting and Lena doesn’t know what to do with herself, can’t help but let the trust Kara has in her loosen the lance of fear that severs her heart so. The one that tells her that she wasn’t doing enough, is _never_ enough.

(“You’re more than enough, Kara,” she’d said, one night, when they were about to sleep and Kara’s tired and deadbeat from what she claims were endless deadlines but Lena knew that it was much more than that, always.

“I’d say the same to you, Lena,” Kara said quietly. “You’re more than enough, to me and to us.”)

A squeeze to her hand brings Lena back to the present. “You said that all the corporate work made you feel… not like yourself?”

There’s a thickness in her throat that Lena’s couldn’t clear. She nods instead.

“Maybe you should do more things that make you feel more like Lena again, you know?”

Lena gives her a laugh, a watery one, when Kara’s hand lets hers go to flail while explaining. “And what would those be?”

Kara’s hand finds hers again, on the table. She gives Lena a grin. “I don’t know. Spend more time in the R&D department? Draw? Write? Learn any instrument? Any creative endeavours. I fully support and believe in them.”

 _She’s right_ , Lena muses. She misses things she did when she had the time of the day to spare.

“Okay,” she says, giving Kara a reassuring smile that wipes away the crease between her eyebrows. “Okay, I’ll find a way to indulge in my creative endeavours more often. Does it work for you? Like, when you draw?”

Kara nods eagerly. “When deadlines pile up I usually find myself doodling or buying a new canvas to mess just to de-stress. Then I jump back in. Get in the zone.”

Lena can’t help but grin, raising a teasing eyebrow. “Okay, I hope your coping mechanisms for a short attention span work for me too.”

Her friend only rolls her eyes in response. “But I’m serious. Creativity is good for the brain, it stimulates imagination and from that, new ideas and productivity. Sleep helps too.” Kara’s eyebrow arches knowingly in her direction at the last comment. “All of these things add up and are absolutely vital. Gosh, you make your own schedules, you’re the boss! Work two hours a day or something, I don’t know.”

She laughs, feeling lighter than she has in days, as she always does whenever she’s with Kara. Even after being vulnerable, in a public space, it never feels as such. Kara makes her feel safe, well-loved, as if it were only the two of them in the observable universe. “I suppose you’re right. I’m two hours past the end of my lunch hour and no one will bat an eye. I’m not keeping you from something, am I?”

Kara places two pieces of sushi in her mouth, shakes her head, chews and swallows. “Not at all. This was my last hurrah before I write a piece about it tonight. How about you?”

“Nothing much. Do you want to head out for ice cream after this?”

Kara grins at her. “Your good heart knows its way to mine, Lena Luthor.”

Not for the first time, Kara convinces Lena, even just for a while.

 

(At the parlour, Lena asks the name of the hospital Charlie frequents.

“St. Therese’s,” Kara answers absently, eyeing the third candidate for her next ice cream, watching the colourful desert with vivid intensity. “Why?”

“Nothing in particular.” Lena replies, fishing out her phone to send a quick message to Cathy, her new assistant. Jess was appointed CFO, sometime after the original CFO retired and Jess was already his deputy by then, so it just made sense.

 _Cath, allot a portion of our CSV funds to St. Therese’s Children’s hospital, please. Make it anonymous._ _Thanks._

Kara’s attention shifts to her fully. “What for?”

Lena pockets her phone, leaning closer to the ice cream display. “Nothing in particular,” she repeats, then turns to the employee. “I’ll have pistachio, please.”

Her friend chuckles lightly, both at the thinly veiled excuse and the ice cream flavour. “Right.”

Kara knows exactly what she did, though Lena finds no reason to voice it out loud.)

 

* * *

 

She finds herself at the supermarket, that night. Lena exhales, then heads to the spices section. She puts what she needs in the cart, ingredients listed at the front of her mind.

When she’s at the checkout counter, she takes out her phone and sends a quick message to Kara. _Come over tomorrow? 7 pm._

It’s not new, asking Kara to visit and have dinner but Lena’s nervous as all hell.

 

**Kara Danvers [7:30:21 PM]:**

Sure! What for? :)

 

**Lena Luthor [7:30:50 PM]:**

I’ll be personally introducing you to my creative endeavours.

 

She hadn’t meant for it to be flirty, but it is what it is.

Kara’s response is instant.

 

**Kara Danvers [7:30:55 PM]:**

I’ll be there.

 

* * *

 

_The mess hall was empty when Lena padded carefully across the cold tiles. The light before sunrise passed through St. Hildegard’s high windows._

_It was barely morning and Lena liked that part of the day most._

_Telltale sounds of pots and pans increased in volume as she made her way to the kitchen. It comforted her, made her forget the chill of the early morning air cutting through her robe._

_Her feet were soundless as she slips inside the room, creeping behind the only occupant of the kitchens—unsuspecting, humming a tune Lena was familiar with._

_She’s ready to pounce, let her fingers find the woman’s sides to surprise her. Lena bent her knees and—_

_“Mornin’, Mija,” Esperanza said, calmly. Lena halts before she can startle the older woman. “I do not think you can surprise me when your feet sound like a giant’s. Bam. Bam. Bam.”_

_Lena sighed, then stood beside Esperanza as she rinsed the apples. Lena’s still smaller than her, even though she definitely grew a few inches over the summer; Lex said so!_

_“I thought I’d get you this time. Suppose I’ll have to try harder tomorrow morning?”_

_Esperanza let out a hearty laugh, bumping her hip against Lena’s. “Maybe you should stop telling me about your surprise attacks if you want them to work. Come, make yourself useful.” She handed Lena a small knife, one that Lena used every morning that she was here at the kitchen. “When you cut apples, start here,” The head of the kitchen gestured to the apple’s middle. “Cut in half, then remove its core, like this.” She demonstrated it: clean, quick, effortless._

_Lena mirrored it, with less finesse she thought, but Esperanza smiled and said. “You got it, Mija. Well done. You can open your own restaurant now.”_

_That earned a giggle from Lena, who took another apple and sliced it into pieces. “I don’t think so, ‘Mita. I’m just nine.”_

_(“I think you should stop calling me_ Mamita _, Lena.” Esperanza laughed, embracing Lena when she returned for her fifth elementary year. “Only toddlers call me that and you are too big to be a toddler.”_

_“No,” Lena said, clenching her jaw and clutching Esperanza tight. She remembered her own mother, and the events of summer which she'd rather not think about. “You’ll always be Mita to me.”)_

_People started piling in the kitchen, ready to prepare more breakfast for a hundred of girls before morning prayers began. They greeted her good morning, and Lena smiled at all of them; happy that she was now a regular and recognisable fixture here to the employees._

_“Anything is possible, Mija,” Esperanza told her. She tapped Lena’s temple, then her breastbone, just above her heart, where Lena’s golden Our Lady of Mt. Carmel pendant rested. “With these you can do anything.”_

 

* * *

 

She secures her apron behind behind her back, the cloth making a small _fwip_ sound. Lena hasn’t worn this apron in a long time, most likely nearing two years, after the whole fiasco with Lex. Her eyes close, pushing away the thoughts that would damper her excitement to share this, _experience_ this again except this time, with Kara. _The Lex that you used to make food for isn’t the same Lex you know now_ , her mind repeats in a frantic litany.

It fades away when Lena stands in front of the counter, with all the ingredients she needs for her and Kara’s dinner. A modest recipe, one she’d improvised from one of Esperanza’s; one she discovered tasted much, _much_ better. The voice in her head quiets and is filled with memories of her childhood in the kitchens of St. Hildegard’s, which was still a strict Benedictine institution, as she remembered. 

Lena draws the knife out, inspects the edge. It’s still sharp, despite the lack of use, and Lena brings her hand down to cut the freshly washed pepper. She wraps herself up in the crisp slicing sounds that she produces on the chopping board.

Kara’s jaw hangs when Lena opens the door to her apartment, the reporter taking in Lena, who stands before her in a black shirt, leggings and an apron.

Lena takes the risk, stands on her toes to press a kiss to Kara’s cheek which causes her to stop breathing altogether.

_You and me both, Kara._

“Thanks for coming,” She chuckles, taking the godello wine from Kara as she walks back to the kitchen. “This is perfect.”

“And this makes sense,” Kara replies, seemingly dazed from Lena’s kiss and satisfaction warms her from head to toe. “Honestly. I should have known this was your _creative endeavour._ ” She inhales deeply, taking in the scent of the sea bream Lena is making. “And it smells heavenly. Wow.”

“What did you think my creative endeavour would be?”

Taking a place beside Lena near the stove while she seasons the bream, Kara taps her chin thoughtfully. “I honestly thought it would be, I don’t know, drawing or writing poetry.”

That makes laughter erupt from Lena, nearly letting go of the pepper mill. “Really, Kara? Poetry? If those were anyone’s endeavours they’d be _yours_.”

Kara sticks out her tongue at Lena, who mirrors the gesture before moving away to chop some basil to add into the caramelised sweet and sour peppers. “What are you making anyway, or is it a surprise?”

After Lena finishes mixing in the basil, she flips the bream, allowing it to cook. “It’s saffron marinated sea bream,” answers Lena, occupied with bringing the sea breams to a crisp. Kara follows her when she takes two plates and divides the caramelized peppers, placing them carefully in the center of each ceramic. “With caramelised, seasoned sweet and sour peppers.”

Lena’s being watched intently by Kara, though for once, it doesn’t bother her. Lex watched her carefully, afraid of her hurting herself. Even Esperanza, who had pushed Lena to pursue her creative endeavours, had meticulously watched her work _—_ always on the lookout for something that could have made the dish taste differently.

Kara… just watches. With awe.

It’s refreshing, new, and if Lena wasn’t nervous before, she is definitely terrified now.

Thankfully her hands don’t shake when she takes the breams from the pan and onto their plates, set carefully on top of the peppers. Kara still watches her, as she drizzles olive oil around the plate for a final touch.

She slides the plate across the kitchen aisle and towards Kara, in a silent _viola_.

Lena had just cooked for the girl she likes more than anything in the world as of this moment. Her heart thuds in her chest as she grips the edges of the aisle. It feels like the end of every cooking competition show she’s ever seen, the ones she spent hours watching with Lex. Lena feels a colossal amount of sympathy for every participant.

“May I?” inquires Kara, who takes a fork from the cutleries rack.

“Hang on, try it with this.” Lena says, somewhat steady, taking the bottle and a wine glass. She uncorks it easily, then pours some amount before handing it over to Kara. “It’ll complement the bream.”

Kara takes it from her with a smile that calms Lena’s nerves, as if she knows exactly what Lena is feeling right now. She reaches over, covers Lena’s hand in hers, and the touch feels like an oasis in the middle of a desert filled with anxiety. Calms that insatiable need to impress that has been embedded into her.

Kara takes her first bite, her hand never leaving Lena’s. Then her eyes close, with a satisfied moan _—that_ certainly does _not_ do Lena any good. Lena releases a breath that she doesn’t know she’s been holding, watching Kara chew carefully and delicately. A word that Lena thought she'd never use to describe Kara Danvers _eating._

Kara’s eyes flutter open, bright and ecstatic. “I think that may be the best first bite I have _ever_ taken in my entire life. Don’t tell Eliza.”

A relieved chuckle bubbles up from her chest. “You really think so? I don’t think I can compete with Eliza.”

Nodding eagerly and making waving her protests away, Kara takes another bite, then a sip of the wine. All of which elicit sounds that Lena should definitely _not_ find sexy. “I’m not usually one for fine dining—call me uncultured—but I know this deserves ten Michelin stars.”

“You’re overselling me.”

“Nuh-uh,” Kara tells her earnestly. “Really. Where did you learn to make food this divine, Miss Luthor?”

“I have my ways,” she replies conspiratorially, before relenting to the mock-affronted face Kara makes. “Okay, fine. I learned at school. Every single girl was coerced to learn how to prepare fine dining dishes.”

“St. Hildegard’s?” The other girl’s brows knit with concern for a second and Lena tries, _tries so hard_ , to hold in her laughter. Kara realises that Lena’s messing with her, aiming a non-committal slap to her arm. “You’re so full of crap, Lena Luthor.”

Lena laughs, taking a bite of her own food. The skin of the bream was sauteed perfectly, crisp and brimming with flavor, thanks to the saffron and the pepper remnants from the pan. This tasted much better, perhaps because she prefers the bream over the bass. “I did learn from school. But they didn’t force us to learn how to prepare dishes like these.”

“How’d you learn, then?”

“The head of the kitchen was my friend,” Lena says, fondly; solemnly, very much like every time she talks and remembers her years in St. Hildegard’s, with Esperanza. “She was more like the mother figure I have always wanted and never found in my own. She taught me everything I know about cooking, and more.”

Kara smiles, so kindly, _so very kindly,_ as if she can feel every bit of love Lena has for Esperanza. Kara is so empathetic, so wonderful, that Lena is absolutely sure that she can easily feel the adoration rolling off Lena in waves. “Do you still speak with her?”

Lena takes a sip from her glass. “Yes, on our birthdays and holidays. She has been to National City to see me when she also visits her children here." She runs a hand through her hair, frowning slightly. "I should call her.”

“She seems like a wonderful woman.”

Lena smiles, her chest constricting at the thought of what Esperanza would say now that she’s making food once more. “One of the best, actually.”

“Gosh, she honed you into the jack of all trades that you are,” Kara says, lightheartedly, though Lena can tell that she _means_ it. “I’m in awe. Is there anything else you want to show me tonight?”

 _Oh, a few other things,_ a small voice in Lena’s head says, and she chastens herself for it. _Platonic. Platonic. Platonic._ “No, nothing, that’s it. Unless you want me to balance these plates on a stick?”

“Can you do that?”

“No.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Kara laughs, finishing the rest of her wine. “I’ll rephrase my question. _Is there anything you can’t do_?”

Lena raises a skeptical brow. “I can give you a litany of things.”

“I also find that hard to believe. I refuse to think that’s the truth,” the reporter says, adamantly, stubbornly. And Lena is falling so fast she can barely contain the urge to walk around this kitchen island and kiss her with everything she’s got. She falls even harder, when Kara’s stomach rumbles audibly, even above the gentle jazz music that echoes in Lena’s apartment.

“That, however is very real,” Lena straightens from leaning on the counter. “I have some more marinated breams and extra bell peppers in the fridge. Can your bottomless pit of a stomach handle a fifteen minute wait?”

Kara seems to exhale in relief. “You are a lifesaver, did you know that?”

Laughing, Lena reaches for Kara’s hand and squeezes.

 

(That night, Kara surprises her in turn. She reaches into her bag and brings out a sketchbook, the leather cover worn slightly. They relax on Lena’s sofa, finishing the remnants of the wine that was, in a word, perfect; she tells Kara as such. 

“You wanted to share your _creative endeavours_ with me,” Kara says, softly, as Lena runs her fingertips on the paper of Kara’s art _—_ anatomy, landscapes, birds. There’s a portrait of Alex, a delicate watercolour piece, capturing the way light falls across her face. Her beauty comes across unspoken. It’s incredibly intimate, and Lena feels too much, too intensely, for this girl in front of her.

“They’re beautiful,” Lena tells her, awestruck, flipping through the pages. She traces every line and feels Kara’s emotions in every single stroke.

What she doesn’t know is that Kara watches her as she mutters, “Yes, beautiful.”)

 

* * *

 

 _Kara changed your nickname to_ **_Chef Lena_** _._

 

 _You changed Kara’s nickname to_ **_Kardonnay_** _._

 

**Kardonnay [12:56:23 AM]:**

That isn’t even my favourite wine!!!

 

**Chef Lena [12:56:32 AM]:**

:P

  

* * *

 

 

Now, sometimes, Kara joins Lena for dinner, save for _Sister’s Night_ with Alex, who jokes lightly about resenting her for stealing her sister away when Lena knows that she’s grateful for some extra, uninterrupted time with Maggie. Sometimes it’s just herself, after a long day, with food she makes for herself and some liquor.

It’s a nice break from routine. She still deals with investors; still answers emails, feeling like a machine but at the same time Lena feels so much better, making dinner for herself, and for Kara when she’s there. It’s familiar yet so new _—_ an addition to her daily life, she ponders _—_ like something within her has just woken up from a good slumber.

Lena revels in it.

 

* * *

 

“—And when we are faced with people who deny universal facts of science such as climate change, it is our duty as scientists to retain their integrity. We aim to be a force for good with one goal: to make the lives of our children and their children’s children much, much brighter.” Lena assembled her cue cards, taking one last look at the crowd before her; students, professors and reporters alike, who attend the green science fair. “You, bright young students, hold the key to a greener future. Learn from the past mistakes of those before you and create solutions under the debilitating pressure of the current climate crisis. You are superheroes, each and every one of you. Trust in your abilities and don’t let failure incapacitate you. Everything else? It will follow.” Lena gives them a smile. “My fellow scientists, good evening. I am honoured to deliver tonight’s keynote address. Thank you.”

Lena catches Kara’s eyes in the crowd of reporters, and it warms her, makes her heart race even more so than standing and delivering a speech in front of hundreds.

There’s a glint, always, and a small smile reserved just for her. Lena doesn’t know what to do with herself.

Lena thanks the crowd, stepping away from the stage as they gave her a warm round of applause, before she could embarrass herself by tripping or saying she _like_ _likes_ Kara Danvers in front of the science community present at this high school.

“Marvelous speech, Miss Luthor,” Kara says, once she’s escorted down the stage. The clicks and flashes of cameras should distract her, but all Lena can see is Kara, whose beautiful face is so writ with pride and fondness that Lena doesn’t know what to do with herself. Except take the arm that Kara offers, hopefully obscuring the blush from Kara and the photographers. “Amazing CEO, revolutionary scientist, wonderful chef, and of course, an engaging public speaker. I watched that Ted Talks of yours, you know. I’m adding this to my _Lena Luthor List._ ”

“You have a _Lena Luthor List?_ ”

“Yup,” Kara taps her temple. “It’s all in here, stored in _my most important lists_ compartment.”

Lena is charmed, all the way down to her toes. She rolls her eyes and tries not to grin like a lovesick fool and allows herself to be escorted to the first contestant of the science fair.

There are promising projects that have been presented so far and Lena is more than eager to be part of the benefactors to fund these pro-environment scientists. Lena and Kara have seen much larger versions of the _Drinkable Book_ , but designed to absorb sludge and oil from river water, salts that can neutralise forest fires in a matter of minutes, and also a prototype for batteries that can store massive solar energy for tropical countries.

Not for the first time that night, Lena is brimming with hope and inspiration. These young people, no younger than twenty, actively finding ways to make the lives of others better. She stops to watch a young boy named Amartya speak.

(“Amartya Sen, as in the economist?” Kara asks, and the boy nods excitedly.)

He talks about the importance of crop rehabilitation in developing countries. Kara is charmed, as is Lena. But the adoration and eagerness that radiates from the golden warmth that is Kara as she asks questions about the project is worthy of becoming the muse of books upon books of beautiful poetry.

“Miss Kara, Lena!” A voice calls out, and they turn to see Charlie Johnson and the familiar whirr of her wheelchair as she makes their way to them.

“Charlie! Hey,” Kara exclaims, kneeling to give the young girl a hug. Lena follows suit, and she ignores the clicks of the camera for Charlie’s embrace _—_ she wants it to herself, wants no one but Kara to see the way Charlie embraces her. Trusting, loving, even after having met Lena for just one day.

“Honestly, Charlie, I should have expected seeing you here,” Lena laughs, squeezing Charlie’s shoulder. “There was no way on Earth a kid that can rattle off the _Death Star_ specs wouldn’t be a science buff.”

“She’s sort of a whizz kid,” Kara winks at Charlie, who giggles and tugs at Lena’s hand. “Where’s your project?”

“It’s the one after the next one!” Charlie says, her arms pointing to her stall, bringing Lena’s hand with the action. “I gotta head back, but I’ll see you guys there.” She goes, whirring away in her purple wheelchair.

“Charlie’s amazing, isn’t she?” Kara asks, pulling Lena from her thoughts and from watching Charlie make her way to her stall. A hand finds its way to Lena’s forearm, giving a comforting squeeze.

Lena lets out a breath she doesn’t know she’d been holding. “Remarkable.”

 

To say Lena is awestruck and impressed is an understatement, as Charlie introduces and explains her invention. 

“My dad is a Red Cross worker in the Philippines _—_ a country that’s always hit by the strongest typhoons. It’s scary, when I watch it on the news. I’m scared for him and I’m scared for the people my father helps,” Charlie says sombrely. “I overheard my Dad talking to my Mom about how there isn’t enough funding for emergency equipment especially in other regions of the country because of mismanagement. I don’t think I can invent anything that can erase government corruption,” This earns laughter from everyone, and Lena is charmed as much as Kara is. Her tone sobers into a melancholic one again and Lena marvels at how easily Charlie can make everyone who listens to her _feel_. “There are kids, younger than me, whose lives are taken away because they don’t have equipment enough to make everyone safe. _ResQPak_ can help with rescue operations in flood-prone countries, as a go-bag for emergency items _and_ as a life vest.”

Charlie takes the bag from its table. “Its material is made out of balsa wood fibres, and it imitates the wood’s floatation mechanics of always having air trapped between them for buoyancy. You can still float even if there are things inside! Isn’t that cool?”

Kara chuckles at that, responding enthusiastically which Charlie hears, giving them a large grin.

“Since it’s recycled, it’s cheap and the process of production is environmentally friendly. It even decomposes, so when people don’t want to use it anymore, they can bury it in their backyard or underneath soil.” Charlie sets the bag back onto the table, clasping her hands. “It also some synthetic bioluminescence and can be activated when calling for emergency attention in the dark. Since we can’t really demonstrate it right now, I’ll be playing some videos here in my stall throughout the fair. Thanks for coming by my stall, and I’ll be answering questions should you have any!”

There is a round of applause, much louder than any of the stalls Lena has visited today. Lena and Kara join in, watching Charlie grin, posing beside her invention as the photographers capture her image.

“I think L-Corp’s R&D lab would be a playground for her,” Lena jokes, still watching Charlie. Kara nods, opens her mouth to speak, though a voice behind them speaks first.

“She’d love that,” Charlie’s mother says and Lena’s heart leaps in her chest at the suddenness of it. The woman laughs at Lena’s surprise. “I’m sorry I snuck up on you. Sometimes Charlie does that with me while I clean the house. Miss Danvers, Miss Luthor. What a pleasant surprise.”

“We’d say the same,” Kara says, laughing. “You must be very proud, Miss Johnson.”

Claire turns to her daughter, still enthusiastically engaging with the press. “Very. She worked really hard on it and she had some research help from her teachers and I. Charlie was very adamant about it, after watching the news about typhoons hitting the Philippines, where her father is stationed.” Turning to Lena, Claire adjusts her glasses, giving her a warm smile. “You should ask her about doing some projects with you, she’d _flip._ ”

“You’d let her be with me? At L-Corp?”

Claire nods, and relief washes over Lena. “I think it would be terrible of me to keep Charlie from nerding out with her hero.”

Oh.

_Oh._

Lena has dealt with her mother, some terrifying stakeholders and people who want to have her head, but it’s never like this; never someone calling her a _hero_.

She opens her mouth to reply, but finds herself speechless because she doesn’t know how any language that can convey exactly what she is feeling right now. Lena is, of course, grateful and beyond happy this woman trusts her with her child, despite all the bad press L-Corp and Lena receive.

When Lena settles with a simple _thank you_ , the production manager calls her and the press’ attentions to move on to the next project. “She’ll be _psyched_ to do what she loves the most with you, Miss Luthor. Go ahead and ask her.”

Lena nods, then follows the production manager with Kara hot on her heels.

“Can you wait a second,” Lena asks the manager politely. “I just want to ask Miss Johnson one question.”

The manager nods, turning to leave and Kara follows, but not without a touch to Lena’s elbow and an enthusiastic high five with Charlie.

“Charlie, that was wonderful,”Lena says, crouching slightly to be eye level with the girl. “Would you mind lending me your public speaking skills to me someday soon?”

Charlie giggles. “But you don’t need them, Lena.”

“What? Didn’t you see earlier, when my skin was about to jump off my body because I was _so_ nervous?”

“No, so I think that’s a good mark of a good public speaker,” the girl reasons and honestly, she’s the perfect match for Lena’s endless teasing. “But thanks, Lena. I was kinda worried that I was gonna mess it up but I didn’t!”

“You didn’t, and I’m glad.” Lena looks back at the expectant production manager, the back to Charlie. “Hey. What do you think of hanging out with me at L-Corp’s labs, so we can mess around with more ideas of yours?”

Charlie visibly lights up and Lena breathes out a sigh of relief. “Me? With you in a lab? _Awesome!”_

“So that’s a yes?”

“Uh-huh!”

Lena laughs, ruffling Charlie’s hair. “Okay, okay. Here’s my number, just call me when you have free time and I’ll adjust my schedule for you to work on whatever you have in mind, alright?”

There are two arms that crush her into a hug before she knows it. “Thanks, Lena. I can’t wait.”

Lena melts into the embrace. “Me neither.”

 

(Later, Lena agrees to stay at Kara’s apartment. This was after a full-blown pouting episode from Kara and a full-blown I _can’t really say no to you_ situation courtesy of Lena. They are settled onto Kara’s bed while Lena works on her tablet and Kara lifts the lid of her laptop to write about the fair. It’s terribly domestic, and all Lena wants is to kiss Kara goodnight, but she can’t. She won’t. Not today, _maybe not ever._ She pushes away the thought as Kara moves to be a comfortable weight beside her.

“I think Charlie may be my favourite child in this observable universe.” Lena says, slipping on her glasses. She hates wearing contacts any longer than necessary.

The bed shakes when Kara laughs; her entire body enveloped in the feeling. Kara, who is free, here, despite not sharing her secret with Lena. Kara, who sees the good in everyone, Lena included. Kara, whom Lena is very much smitten with. “We share the same sentiments.”)

 

* * *

 

“Kara said you’d be working yourself to the bone on a Friday night. And she wasn’t wrong.” Alex Danvers says, ever set on proving herself right, in fact it’s the way she announces herself usually, Lena has learned. She strides into Lena’s office like she always does when she needs some expertise on a cryptic _something_ , or if she just wanted a drink and some good banter. “Come on, Luthor, don’t sulk just because my sister’s with her mother.”

Lena spares her a glance from the third to the last spreadsheet edit of the night. “I am _not_ sulking, Alex.”

“I’ve known you long enough to know what your sulking face looks like, and _that’s_ it,” she gestures towards Lena’s face, drawing a circle in the air around it, as if that explains everything. “Let’s grab a drink. It’s a Friday night. Relax.”

Lena saves the spreadsheet and closes the lid of her laptop, packing it into her bag along with some other paperwork. Today has been harder than usual and she needed to make her own food to reinforce the routine and to cheer herself up.

“Okay,” she rises to her feet, and Alex lets out a tiny _yes_. “But we have a night out on my conditions.”

Alex raises a brow. “Conditions?”

“We have dinner at my place then we go out for drinks. Food and drinks are my treat.” She says it before she could stop herself, before she could feel insecure about sharing her cooking abilities with someone that wasn’t Kara, but this is _Alex,_ who has been nothing short of a good friend to her.

Her brow only arches higher, to the point Lena thinks Alex is about to say no.

“This isn’t a date, Luthor.” There’s no malice in Alex’s stern eyes, only teasing and camaraderie. Perhaps she knows about how much Lena feels for Kara, which is most likely not a secret between any of them nowadays, except maybe to Kara.

Lena laughs, locking her office door before walking to the elevator with Alex by her side. “I regretfully inform you that you aren’t really my type, Alex.”

That earns her another raised brow, higher again. Frankly, Lena’s surprised her eyebrows haven’t flown off her face at this point. A knowing look passes between them and Alex seems to know exactly what Lena is implying. “Sure, Luthor. Let’s keep it that way.”

 

Later, Alex closes her eyes in appreciation as she chews carefully. “Jesus _Holy_ Christ, Lena,” she drawls after having a slice of the lamb Lena served. “This is fucking amazing. Like, some Iron Chef level kind of cooking.”

Lena doesn’t take any of the lamb portions, but she does have the various vegetables she sautéed in the sauce as her dinner. She laughs, heartily, at the often stone-faced agent eagerly taking in more bites of the food.

“When Kara said you could cook, I didn’t know it would be _this_ good,” Alex says, after sipping the brandy Lena served. She blushes immediately, a pleasant feeling taking over her body at the thought that Kara talks about Lena to one of the most important people of her life. “Like. She wouldn’t shut up about it and I’m finally glad to have seen the light myself.”

Lena laughs at that. “God, you two have penchants for hyperboles, did you know that?”

Alex looks half-stricken at the comment, though Lena knows she’s just faking it. “You think I exaggerate? She talks my ear off about you and that kid Charlie.”

She is pleasantly warm again, at Kara talking about her _and_ Charlie, eagerly at that. “She _can’t_ talk your ear off. That’s a metaphor and that’s not physically possible.” It’s torture to keep a straight face at Alex’s mortification.

Alex regards her with a deadpan stare. “Lena. I am a bioengineer. I _know_ if my ear has been talked off. And it _has_ been talked off.”

Lena rolls her eyes, sipping from her glass. Finishing her drink, one of Lena’s favourites, Alex clears her throat before speaking. “You should open a restaurant.” When Lena laughs, Alex smacks her hand down lightly on the table. “What? I’m serious.”

“I don’t think I’m good enough for that yet. I’m _okay,_ I think,” Lena purses her lips. “But not restaurant level, not yet  _fine dining_ level _,_ you know?”

“Seriously, Lena,” Alex starts, and it’s the same tone she uses on Kara when Kara’s being stubborn about one thing or another. Not exactly her _Agent Danver_ s tone, but equally as stern. "This is better than most of the top restaurants I’ve been to. _So_ much better. Where did you even learn how to make food this… pretty and amazing?”

“A friend taught me, while I was growing up. It’s been a hobby of mine,” she wipes her hands with a paper towel. “One that I haven’t really been attending to until Kara made me realise that I should. I… feel more like myself, because of her.”

“Kara tends to do that, doesn’t she?” Alex gives her a small, soft smile that Lena has found comfort in. She never had an older sister, but she finds that in the other woman.

Lena nods, finds she has _nothing_ to say next that would not out her feelings about Kara to Alex. She breathes a sigh of relief when Alex’s phone interrupts her, before Lena can make sense of the knowing look on Alex’s face.

“It’s Maggie,” she says absently. “Do you mind?”

Lena shakes her head, then collects their plates. “No, not at all. By all means.”

Alex turns away as Lena pours herself another drink, finally relaxing after the long day, thanks to Alex’s easy company. “I’ve gotta dash, but not until I help you with these plates.” When Lena objects, Alex takes the used plates on the kitchen aisle before Lena can. “Ah-ah. This was a wonderful meal and the least I can do is clear up.”

She has this stubborn downturn of her lips, the same as Kara, which, Lena noticed, is a mannerism Supergirl brings with her. There is no room to argue, so Lena lets Alex do the dishes as she has her third glass, officially relaxed and ready to answer some emails and sort some blueprints for R&D. A comfortable silence settles over them, only the sound of the television in the background, running water, and the stacking of plates.

Alex is a good person to be around with, and Kara _adores_ that she and Alex get along so well together.

(“Why are you looking at us like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re so happy that you could spontaneously combust at any second,” Lena adds, knocking off the coloured pawn off the slide box before moving to a safety zone. “Sorry, Alex.”

“Curse you, Luthor.”)

Alex leaves, after another drink, saying Maggie’s downstairs already—too tired to come up and say hello. “Thanks for dinner, Luthor. Take it easy out there.” Her _that wasn’t a question, it was a demand_ tone dulled by the way she kisses Lena’s hair before ruffling it and turning away, Lena laughing into her glass. 

“This wasn’t a date, Alex!” Lena calls out, before Alex can shut the door.

“God, I hope not,” the other woman yells back. “And I’m not the Danvers you want to date. Bye!”

 

Lena almost drops her glass and curses, at the small amount of perfectly good bourbon spilled onto her blouse because Alex Danvers is that much of a cheeky asshole.

 

* * *

 

_Her mother found out she knew how to cook sometime after second year of high school. She’d been making food for Lex whenever she had the chance while Lillian was away for one reason or another._

_(“So you know how to cook? Make food for me then,” Lillian said, sickeninglyand uncharacteristically sweet._

_Maybe this was the key to Lillian’s affections. Maybe if it’s not the science, it’s the food._

_Maybe Lena still wanted to earn it. Maybe this was her shot to finally be treated like a daughter.)_

_It ended with her mother walking out of the dining hall before finishing the paella she made, the one she had learned from watching Esperanza, with the freshest prawns and clams she and the kitchen stewards had found at the market._

_It ended with Lena crying, at the opposite end of the table, a mile away from Lillian; it ended with Lex sitting closer to her, bringing his plate back full with the second serving of the dish._

_“For the record, this deserves to be the top winner on Iron Chef,” Lex told her proudly, taking three spoonfuls in rapid succession and managing to make Lena smile._

_Whenever he and Lena were home and Lex was not busy with extra lessons, they sink into the huge chairs with studs all over them in the lounge and watch new episodes of Iron Chef._

_She cooked for herself and Lex, from then on. Her mother be damned._

 

* * *

 

“So this is what L-Corp’s lab look like,” Charlie says, looking around as Lena walks beside her wheelchair.

Lena turns to look at her. “What did you think it would look like?”

The young girl looks up at Lena, biting her lip mischievously. “More… science-y.”

She can’t help but feel affronted, despite knowing that Charlie is probably teasing her. “Charlemagne, this is state of the art equipment; one of the best setup’s in the whole world and you are saying it’s not _science-y_ enough?” When Charlie doesn’t respond, looking away with a grin on her face, Lena continues. “I’m terribly sorry to disappoint you,” she says, not unkindly. “But we aren’t in the age of hyperspace travels if that was what you were expecting.”

“ _Yet_ ,” corrects Charlie. “Not yet. But if we work together, maybe it could happen?”

A small smile graces Lena’s lips, as she wonders what she had done right in her life to meet such a wonderful young girl as Charlemagne Johnson. “I guess we can.”

 

(“I swear to all that is good, Kara. One day Charlie might take over the world.”

Kara laughs, the tip of her pen hanging on her lips as she skims over an article. It is ridiculously attractive and should be deemed illegal. “That’s a world I’d like to see. Watch her make space travel happen.”

“Oh. She will, she will.” )

 

* * *

 

Lena lies down in bed, exhausted, but content. She doesn’t feel so swallowed up by the routines that come with being CEO. Her feet are painful from standing and making dinner for her and Kara and Charlie, who’d joined them tonight. Her arms ache from spending more time in the R&D lab, working with her fellow scientists to fix some kinks in their upcoming products for sustainable development initiatives in some areas of the United States. Her cheeks ache too much from smiling as she does when she’s with Kara, eager to cheer her up.

Sometimes Kara leaves, in the middle of her meal—which Lena makes sure that they are never the same thing unless Kara or Charlie request so. Lena chooses not to dwell on it, only nodding before Kara kisses her cheek and goes. The pain in her chest thuds dully against her ribcage but Lena does everything to quell it. _You will learn in time, you will learn in time, you will learn in time._  

Lena feels more like herself these days, no longer jaded.

Kara sends her a goodnight message, with tons of emojis. Lena falls asleep with her phone on her chest and a smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

“So I heard everyone in St. Therese’s therapy program is paying fifty percent less than the actual treatment,” Kara says, while they’re walking to Charlie’s home. She grins widely, looking utterly adorable with an armful of paper bags full of huge ice cream tubs. Of course, she doesn’t even break a sweat. “I wonder what amazing and beautiful CEO did this.”

A flush crawls up Lena’s neck at being found out and Kara complimenting her. She cannot believe that those words are being used to describe _her_ , regardless of how much Kara surprises her and showers her with compliments.

Lena can’t find any words quick enough before Kara leans close to press a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek. “Thank you. I’m sure the families of the kids would love to thank this mysterious benefactor, too.”

Her voice finally returns, but Lena speaks with some difficulty thanks to Kara’s presence and proximity. “They don’t need to,” her voice comes out somewhat steady, “I’d rather it be under wraps.”

Kara gives her a bright smile above the paper bags. “Of course,” she says, nodding, understanding. Lena suppresses the urge to take the bags in her hand and kiss her.

She doesn’t.

(Lena wishes she could.)

Instead, she checks her phone for Charlie’s address, then looks up to the home address that matches it. To the side, there is a ramp that leads to the door, a fixture that’s unique to the apartment as compared to similar units. “We’re here.”

Kara looks away from Lena to glance at the door. “Okay.” She tilts her head towards it. “Age before beauty.”

Lena laughs, aims a small punch to Kara’s arm. “Oh, sod off. Come on, Charlie’s waiting.”

“Miss Luthor and Miss Danvers, hi,” Claire, Charlie’s mother, says when she opens the door. “Come right in.”

“Oh, come on, Miss Johnson, we see each other every time Charlie has one of her science bouts.” Kara says good-naturedly. “Just call me Kara.”

“And I, Lena.”

Claire laughs, stepping aside to let them in. “Alright. Only if you call me Claire, though. Charlie’s settled at the living room, trying to narrow down today’s movie selections.”

They exchange pleasantries until they reach the room, where Charlie sits on the couch trying to pick between _A New Hope_ and _Empire Strikes Back._

“I’ll be upstairs if the three of you need anything,” Claire says, giving them a warm smile. “Have fun.”

Lena approaches the sofa first, hands on the back. “I think we if we start on the first now, we have enough time to marathon the rest of them.”

Charlie turns her head, her curly hair in braids swinging with the movement. “Lena!” She gives Lena a grin, holding up her arms, signalling Lena to give her a hug which Lena does, one that Charlie returns tightly. “Is that ice cream?”

“Well hello to you too, kid,” Kara laughs, setting the ice cream tubs down on the glass coffee table.

“I’m just kidding. I’m glad you’re here, Miss Kara,” Charlie chuckles, letting Lena go to hold her arms up for a hug from Kara and Lena just _melts_. “Come sit beside me, please.”

Lena takes Charlie’s left flank, Kara on the other, sitting carefully as to not jostle the girl’s legs. While Charlie waits for _A New Hope_ to load, Kara takes three ice cream tubs out and starts to distribute them.

“I’ll go get us some spoons.” Lena carefully rises to her feet. “Where do you keep your spoons, Charlie?”

“In the drawer near our stove, you can’t miss it.”

She pads to the kitchen to find Charlie’s mother making coffee. “Miss John—Claire, hi.”

“Lena, hi. Did you guys need anything?”

Nodding, Lena gestures to the drawer. “Some spoons for the ice cream. We have more than enough, should you want any.”

“No, thank you. I’m watching my sugar.” Claire smiles, then slides the drawer open to retrieve three spoons. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, Claire.”

Tilting her head, Claire laughs. “I should be the one thanking you.”

_Oh._

Before Lena can say anything, Claire lifts a hand. “Ah-ah. Let me thank you because honestly, I don’t know how to repay you for how much you helped me and Charlie and also the other families in the therapy program of St. Therese’s. You’re also helping her learn so much when you guys tinker with your science stuff.”

Lena feels her face flush, three times warmer than when Kara had caught her. She fiddles with the spoons in her hands, unsure of where to look, unbelievably shy.

_Lena Luthor, L-Corp CEO, shy as all hell._

“You cut our expenses in half, Lena Luthor,” Claire continues, a full grin on her face. “You’re also making her dreams as a scientist into a reality. And if that’s not one of the best things anyone has ever done for my Charlie and I, then nothing has been.”

There’s a thickness in Lena’s throat that she can’t swallow, but she speaks anyway, hand finding the golden pendant to fiddle with nervously. “Your daughter is a wonderful and intelligent girl. It’s the least I could do to make her and the people she cares about happy.”

“You and Kara are great influences in her life, with all the science and the arts and the cooking and of course the dreaded nerd speak.” Claire teases. “You two are her closest friends. Any mother would feel this way towards friends that treat her child right.”

Lena exhales air she didn’t know she was holding, her shoulders slumping with the action. “She’s a close friend of mine, too.”

Charlie’s mother smiles. “I’m glad. You and Kara make a wonderful couple, and would make wonderful parents.”

That punches the air right out of Lena’s lungs. “I—W—We aren’t together.”

Claire seems genuinely surprised at Lena’s admission, then her face shifts to an apologetic one. “I’m sorry, I just assumed the two of you had something going on, with the way you two interact.”

Lena waves her off, hoping that Claire isn’t worried about her reaction. “It’s quite alright. We get that more often than you'd expect.”

The older woman eyes her with curiosity and amusement, like she _knows_ something Lena doesn’t, and Lena really can’t breathe. She’s still reeling from the fact Claire thought she and Kara were together. “I should get back,” Lena says, turning to the sound of Kara and Charlie laughing heartily.

“Yes, of course.” Claire pours the hot water into her mug. “You girls enjoy the rest of the night. Try not to stay up too late, understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“There she is, the champion, with our spoons. The crowd goes wild,” Kara announces, then cups her hands around her mouth to make what was probably meant to be the sound of a stadium crowd cheering. Lena takes a spoon and taps Kara’s nose with it, chastising her.

“Thanks, Lena,” Charlie says, then she digs in. Kara echoes the sentiment, but watches Lena when she carefully takes another seat beside the young girl. 

 _You okay?_ Kara mouths.

It must have shown on Lena’s face that she’s experienced ten types of emotions in the past seven minutes. _Yeah,_ Lena mouths back. _I’m alright._

Kara decides to drop it, looking far from convinced, though she doesn’t push it, only holds Lena’s hand behind Charlie’s head.

Charlie starts the movie. Then the familiar roll before every _Star Wars_ film.

Lena has never been more content as she was now.

 

* * *

 

**Kardonnay [6:00:42 PM]:**

Might have to skip dinner w/ u 2night :(

 

Her heart drops to her stomach, but she knows what this is about. _Supergirl duties_ , Lena thinks absently. And honestly, it’s starting to hurt more than Lena would like to admit.

She exhales, setting out the ingredients for some mussels and saffron flatbread, for one. She’s been used to having Kara around for dinner, despite their busy schedules.

 

**Chef Lena [6:01:34 PM]:**

Okay :( See you soon, though?

 

But before Lena can feel ridiculous about being so _needy_ and _mushy_ about missing Kara:

 

**Kardonnay [6:02:00 PM]:**

Tomorrow!!!!

**Kardonnay [6:02:05 PM]:**

Can’t stay away from my personal chef/scientist/frustrated dancer ;)

 

Lena sends her fifteen emoji's of the middle finger.

 

* * *

 

“You look beat,” Jess tells her, flipping open her laptop lid before the meeting with investors. “But… I don’t know. More glow-y, if that makes sense. Are you getting laid? Are you and Kara finally a thing now?”

Lena shushes her, rolling her eyes but laughing. “No, God. I _wish_ though.” She mutters the last part.

Jess glances at her watch. “Clocks’ a-tickin’, Luthor.”

“Oh, shut it.” She stands, dusts her skirt and welcomes the foreign investors in Mandarin to start what she knew would be a dreadfully long meeting.

 

* * *

 

 

Kara is asleep at her desk during lunch time when Lena visits and brings the coffee she likes from Noonan’s. Lena nudges her awake, knowing that if Snapper saw her like that she’d be out on her rear.

“Hey,” Lena says softly, when Kara lifts her head up. “Sorry. Snapper might be onto you if he sees you like this.”

Kara smiles, though it’s dull, lacking its usual brightness. Her eyes are puffy from sleep deprivation, a characteristic Lena knows all too well. “No, it’s okay, you’re right. Thanks, I owe you.”

She looks so tired, but she is wrapped in the warm embrace of the afternoon sunlight. It’s as if all the shafts of sunlight in the world bend and bow to find their way to Kara, to wash her features in this hazy, almost dreamlike glow.

Yellow, pink and orange are painted across the contours of her face: making her cheekbones and her brow noble; making the sapphire shards of her eyes blinding; making the curve of her lips seem even softer than they usually do. Lena finds herself yet again wanting to kiss Kara, for the umpteenth time, but doesn’t. She digs half moons into her palms instead.

“Long night, huh,” says Lena dumbly, shaking her head slightly to try and force herself out of this adoring stupor.

An exhausted sigh hangs on Kara’s words when she stretches. “Yeah.”

“You haven’t been able to draw, either?”

Kara shakes her head and looks absolutely, utterly exhausted.

Lena takes a seat in front of Kara’s desk. “Will you go get some rest soon, though?”

“Yeah, I’m actually done here so I can nab a few hours. Or twenty. Depends.”

 _Super stuff,_ Lena deduces. She feels fatigue coming off of Kara in waves. “Dinner rain check?”

Kara gives her a sad smile, one that tugs at Lena’s heartstrings, makes her want to run away with Kara where the world doesn’t need her and the world doesn’t need Lena Luthor, either. “I’m afraid so. I’m sorry.”

She _tsks_ at it, trying to ignore the constricting feeling in her chest. “Don’t be ridiculous. Rest and eat well, okay?” Lena tells her. She purses her lips. “Can I see you tomorrow? Before _Game Night_ at Winn’s?”

That radiant smile is back, however weary—Lena is yet again blinded and incapacitated by Kara. This is starting to happen more and more. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

An idea strikes Lena at that moment, so fast it gives her a whiplash of excitement. “Come to my apartment wearing sleeping clothes you won’t miss if they are ruined.”

Kara gives her a puzzled look, though she nods all the same. “Alright.”

She takes the risk, thinks life is too short to not kiss Kara Danvers on the cheek. Lena turns and makes her way out of Cat Co with a burning face.

_Worth it._

 

Lena's heels echo beneath her as she makes her way back to L-Corp. Her call is answered after three rings. “Hey, Jackson. Can I cash in a favour?” 

Jackson, a tattoo artist from Lena’s somewhat rebellious years, laughs. “ _Sure thing, doll. What can I do for ya?_ ”

“Would you mind if my friend and I used your studio here in National City for a few hours? Just until around four in the afternoon.”

“ _Sure you can._ ”

 

* * *

 

Kara gasps when Lena pulls up the steel rolling doors, both in ratty, tatty clothes—the latter looking utterly magnificent in a tattered shirt and an old pair of sweatpants, her golden hair up in a lazy bun.

Propped up against the back wall was a huge empty canvas, taking up a third of the wall space. Cans of non-toxic, scentless paint, goggles and masks arranged carefully in front of it. Lena, eyes narrowed, spots a container beside some speakers on the wooden stool, its contents a familiar shade of green. “Jackson, you _bastard_ ,” she mutters, shaking her head, though she laughs at the tattoo artist remembering Lena’s old habit of getting high pretty often, way back when Lena was finishing undergrad.

“You did this for me?” Kara asks, once she’s done assessing the room with awe.

Lena gives her a noncommittal shrug, looking everywhere but at Kara, picking up the container and a pipe with some tissue paper. “It seemed like you needed it after a really bad week. Or month.”

A kiss lands on Lena’s cheek, her body reacting to it with a flush before it can even register to her brain that Kara had just kissed her.

( _This_ happens all the time, not that Lena is proud of her instinctual reaction to Kara Danvers, a girl she likes. Very much. Fuck, she sounds like she's twelve again.)

“You are wonderful,” Kara says, smoothing out the collar of Lena’s old polo shirt. “Thank you, pothead.”

Lena gives her a small shove, which Kara reacts to with an exaggerated _ow_. “I had to deal with _a lot_ of MIT stress, okay?”

“Sure… pothead.”

Rolling her eyes, Lena moves out of Kara’s orbit, for health and spiritual betterment reasons. She starts prying open a paint can with a screwdriver. She dips her hand in white paint. “If all you’re going to do today is call me a _pothead_ , I might as well get started.”

Kara laughs and follows suit, opening another tin. “You aren’t smoking today, pothead?”

She _seriously_ considers it, but remembers they have _Game Night_ , in a few hours. Their friends are lovely, but Lena would _not_ want them to see a very high Lena Luthor while everyone else is sober. “No, I’m keeping it, though. For a different occasion. I’m not one to waste perfectly good weed.”

“Okay, pothead.” The grin Kara gives her makes Lena melt, makes her helpless to this girl's charm.

(The way she retorts, “You know it gets old, right? The pothead joke,” is helpless too.)

Kara dips her fingers in yellow paint quickly. “You ready?”

“More than ready.”

Kara laughs, a golden sound, before splashing colour on the blank canvas.

They’re finished, three hours later, and Lena feels high even without the pot. The—no,  _their_ artwork is beautiful, various shades of yellow, orange and white with purple and navy undertones. It’s gorgeous, and so very Kara.

(“No black allowed, Lena, only colour,” Kara had whispered lowly into her ear after seeing her eyeing that can. Lena could feel her lips brush against the hair at the nape of her neck. “It has to convey _us_ , after all.”

Lena had hastily nodded her agreement, afraid to speak in case something stupid came out like: “Wow, do you whisper in _every girl’s_ ear like that? Or am I the only one?”)

They admire it, standing in front of the canvas, with Kara’s arm around Lena’s shoulder, pulling her close. The light from the windows falls on everything perfectly, and Lena thinks she is in love with this moment, with this artwork and with the artist.

 

* * *

 

They move _Game Night_ to Lena’s house, since it’s a _Just Dance_ marathon and they want to make use of Lena’s ridiculously large television. Winn almost knocked her door from their hinges with his eagerness.

Alex asks what Lena’s whipping up for dinner to know which liquor it would best match with, and the food Lena goes with something decidedly not, “ _Fine dine-y,_ ” in Winn’s words. She settles with some good old ravioli and pot chicken and some chop suey for Maggie. There are content smiles all around and compliments bubble up and over Lena, as if she were a volcano erupting. They all agreed it was the most suitable meal for seven people, since James is back in Metropolis for his latest assignment.

Kara and Winn have a go at beating each other on _Just Dance_ while Lena sits with Lucy, Maggie and Alex, who are—yet again—showering her with compliments.

“God, Luthor, I have not had a meal like that since my mother came back to try and win Lois and I over,” Lucy drawls, burping slightly. “That was the best meal of my life.”

“Right?” Alex says. “It’s not my first time having food prepared by the one and only Lena Luthor but, _Jesus_ , it’s amazing every single time.”

Maggie takes a sip of her wine. “Have you considered starting up a restaurant, Lena?”

Before Lena can shake her head, Alex jumps in. “I suggested that _months_ ago and she wouldn’t listen at all.”

She gives her a glare, before turning to Lucy and Maggie. “No, I haven’t.”

Lucy tilts her glass toward Lena with a nod. “You should. I swear to every deity in this world, all that you make is worthy of at least one Michelin star, maybe two if you try hard enough.” Her lips quirk up into a smirk at the end of her statement.

The two duelling for the crown return, Kara plopping down beside Lena, who barely looks winded compared to Winn. “What’s this?” asks Kara, who drinks from Lena’s glass.

It’s Lucy who speaks first. “We’re convincing Lena to open a restaurant.”

Kara turns to her, brows raising so high Lena is sure that the Danvers’ have an allergy to keeping their eyebrows where they're supposed to be. “Do _you_ want to?”

Lena only shrugs.

“If you’re worried about not having customers due to the fear of being poisoned by a Luthor, that also works in your favour. You’re a prominent public figure—enough that there will _always_ be people outside your restaurant,” Winn says. “And with the slight off-chance there won’t, we’ll all make sure to eat there everyday until you break even, and beyond.” Kara glares at Winn for the poison comment. He sinks down into the sofa, obviously hoping that it would swallow him whole.

With the way Alex chimes in saying, “We mean it, Luthor,” Lena knows Winn isn’t joking.

 

Later, when the others had filtered out of her apartment quietly, there is a quiet but certain statement spoken between them: “You should consider it.”

Lena hums, tired and content, lifting her head from Kara’s shoulder. “Consider what?”

“A restaurant, for yourself.”

“Ah,” she places her head back on Kara’s shoulder. “I… really don’t know, Kara.” 

They remain quiet for some time, _Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt_ a passing background noise until: “You know Walt Whitman?”

“What about him?”

Kara tightens her arms around Lena. “ _I am Large,_ ”

“ _I contain Multitudes_ ,” Lena finishes for her. “The expanse of the unfulfilled versions of the human self.”

Lena feels Kara nod. “Yeah. Maybe it’ll be good for you, if you can make the restaurant happen and, I don’t know, make use of all that potential. It could be good for you, but that’s just my opinion.”

Lena snuggles closer to Kara. “I’ll think about it.”

And Lena does.

 

* * *

 

_“Really, Lena, are you that socially inept that you have zero friends in a school with children of the most powerful people all over the UK? And to top that, the head of the kitchens is your closest friend,” Lillian spat. “Pathetic. How pathetic of you.”_

She has more love in one pinky than you have in your entire being, _Lena thought bitterly, eyes on the sturdy mahogany of their long dining table. Lena said nothing, nothing, nothing._

_Not until—_

_Lillian scoffed. “If the headmistress had a sturdier heart then she’d be back with her good for nothing people—”_

_Lena remembered the fond way that Esperanza talked of home, in San Luis Potosí, Mexico. Her family used to have next to nothing except a house, the clothes on their backs and generational recipes. She’d talk about_ fiestas, _Diá de Muertos,_ _hot summer days chasing piglets and tires kept going by sticks. Lena loved Mexico even without having been there, thanks to Esperanza._

 _“Don’t even_ try _finishing that sentence, Mother,_ ” _Lena said dangerously, her blood boiling. She could handle being ripped apart, piece by piece, as always. But Esperanza, who had done nothing but be the mother figure she needed, was far from deserving of this bigotry from Lillian. “Don’t you dare talk about her like that. Don’t you dare talk about anyone like that.”_

_Her hand made its way to her chest, to clutch the pendant as she did when she’s distressed. Yet Lena halted the movement, clenching her jaw tight as she remembered that her mother might see, but decided fuck that, yanking it from her neck. It smashed down onto the edge of the table, a metallic clang ringing out into the oppressive room. Lena gripped it ‘til her knuckles were pale, sure that she’d squeezed it into a mangled mess._

_Lillian only rolled her eyes then resumed eating as if nothing happened. She clearly didn’t think this was worth talking about, unfazed by Lena’s dangerous reaction._

_Dinner without Lex ended with her hands raw and red from gripping the table and the cool metal of her pendant was a balm that soothed her skin._

 

* * *

 

“Miss Luthor,” Cathy calls out from the doorway, pulling Lena out of analysing her meeting notes. “An Esperanza Velasquez is here to see you.”

Lena’s head snaps up. The pen she held firmly fell out of her grasp, but she regains her bearings enough to reply like a human being with a working brain. “Please let her in and tell Jess to be my proxy at today’s meetings because I’m unavailable.”

Her assistant ducks out and Lena stands, exhales a little shakily, straightens her skirt.

Why are anxiety and excitement both things that make Lena’s stomach turn? _Doesn't seem fair._

 

“I hope you did not cancel all your meetings for me,” Esperanza says in greeting and Lena steps into a soul soothing embrace rather than give her the answer she already knows. The old woman laughs, returning the hug just as tightly. “Hello, _Mija._ It’s good to see you.”

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Lena says. “And for the record, Jess is my proxy this time.”

Esperanza tuts. “Give that lovely girl a break, Lena.”

“She’s the CFO. She can handle it. Please, sit, sit.” Lena offers her forearms for Esperanza to grip while lowering herself down onto the sofa. Lena sits next to her, their knees brushing. “Would you like a drink?”

“No, I am fine. Thank you. My nephew’s graduation is in a few hours, so I cannot go intoxicated. This is a quick visit, I’m afraid.”

When Lena deflates visibly at that, Esperanza taps her face lightly. “No long faces, _Mija._ I’ll be back soon.” Esperanza leans back. “So, how has my favourite CEO been?”

“Busy,” Lena supplies, meeting her gaze. “But… I’ve been cooking. Again.”

Esperanza raises a brow at that. “You haven’t made anything since Lex was taken to prison.”

“Exactly. I want to show you what I can do, but you’re not staying long enough for that.” She smiles, albeit sadly. Lena wishes she could stay longer, but this is enough.

“Your food has always been amazing, I can only imagine how much you have improved. Everything you make, _Mija_ —food or no—is nothing less than brilliant.”

A push—most likely caused by nerves and pure love for the woman who had helped her grow into who she was today—presses insistently in between the middle of Lena’s ribs. She exhales, grips her pendant briefly.

“I’m thinking of opening a restaurant.”

It’s out in the open now and there’s no turning back. Esperanza’s face shows nothing but pride, understanding, fondness. There isn't a single drop of doubt that marred her wrinkled, tanned face. “Well, what’s stopping you?”

She opens her mouth to say, _I’m the CEO of L-Corp, I can’t_. Though Esperanza will only say, _You can be CEO and a chef_. She opens her mouth to say, _I’m not good enough_. Though Esperanza will only say, _You should trust in your abilities_. As she has done, for years and years, all throughout Lena’s life.

Lena settles for a muttered, “I don’t know.”

Esperanza only smiles, as if she knows exactly what it is that’s stopping Lena: herself. “I think that is something you have to figure out alone, _Mija._ And when you do, open that restaurant.”

Before Lena can even process those words, Esperanza tucks an errant lock of hair behind Lena’s ear and continues. “What made you consider it in the first place?”

Pursing her lips, Lena considers lying about it, though she realises that she can’t. Not with Esperanza. “So there’s this girl…”

“ _Of course_ ,” Esperanza rolls her eyes. “Go on.”

Lena ducks her head shyly, that Esperanza would know she’d react this way to Lena’s smitten habits. “She… kind of brought it out in me. When I was so done with being the CEO of L-Corp, she suggested that I should do things that make me feel like myself. Again.”

There is a pause where Esperanza regards her carefully. “Sounds like you’re in love, _Mija_.”

Lena finds that she can say nothing that could dispute that statement. She is in love with Kara Danvers. Finds that she is irrevocably, irreversibly taken with her.

A knock on the door interrupts her. Cathy ducks in. “Miss Luthor, Kara is here to see you. I didn’t let her in immediately because I explained that you have a guest.”

Lena turns to Esperanza. “I want you to meet her.”

When Esperanza gives her the kindest smile, nodding, Lena turns back to Cathy. “Okay. Let her in.”

The first thing Kara does is apologise profusely; _sorry’s_ and _please excuse me’s_ stumbling out of her before Lena can stop her. She halts, halfway to the couch, when she realises who the woman seated across from Lena is. “Kara,” Lena starts, “this is Esperanza.”

Kara stands stock still as she whispers incredulously, “ _The?_ ”

That pulls a hearty chuckle from Lena. “Yes, _the_ Esperanza.”

“Hello, _Mija_ ,” Esperanza says, beckoning Kara closer. She stands and gives Kara her trademark encompassing embrace. It is heartwarming and adorable, seeing that Kara is at least two heads taller than the older woman. “I’ve heard such good things about you.”

“And I, you,” Kara says, awestruck. “The best things, actually, are things I have heard about you.”

Esperanza is clearly enraptured by Kara. _Who isn’t though?_ Lena’s heart melts.

Kara then turns to her. “Sorry to interrupt. I knew you were working late so I brought you some food, from that weird place beside the ramen place with the weird wheat noodles.”

Lena takes it carefully from Kara, hopelessly aware that Esperanza is watching. “Thank you, darling. You’re my favourite.”

(If there is something in this world Lena can watch for the rest of eternity, it’s Kara ducking her head and blushing at the slightest endearment.)

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.”

They linger, aware that someone’s watching. Lena almost turns away, afraid of kissing Kara’s cheek though Kara dives in and does it for the both of them.

She’s a bit breathless—hell, both of them are—when they turn away. Kara says _bye_ one more time before leaving and when Lena sits back down, she tries not to show just how much her legs have turned to jelly.

Esperanza watches her with a knowing expression and Lena knows exactly what she’s thinking.

“I think she is, too.”

Lena takes a sip of her bourbon. “Is what?” She asks, despite knowing the question.

“In love with you, too.”

When Lena says nothing, only drinks, Esperanza continues. Her eyes never lose their gleam of amusement. “I see it, in her eyes. And I’m always—”

“—Right about these things, especially with me. I remember.”

There’s a quiet that settles between them then, where Lena swirls her drink in her glass, trying to come to terms that Kara _may_ also love her back. That she is pining ridiculously and that Kara is doing and feeling the exact same thing she is.

“When are you going to tell her?” asks Esperanza, pulling her out of her reverie.

Lena shrugs. “I don’t know. There are still… things we don’t know about each other.” She mutters quietly, scolding herself for letting bitterness taint her words because Kara deserves none of this, especially from Lena. She can’t blame Kara for not telling Lena she’s Supergirl, just as Lena can’t blame Kara for what happened to Lex. It hurt for Lena, at first. But she shouldn’t let it take over her life. “I’m waiting for the moment that stops being the case. Then I will tell her that I do. Love her.” She sighs, looks down. “Very much.”

“I do see some things that’s unspoken between you too. Many things. There will be much to talk about, _Mija_ ,” Esperanza tells her.

That push between her ribs echoes in agreement.

 

Esperanza leaves for her nephew’s graduation but not without several more hours of catching up with Lena. She learns that Esperanza has a small mom-and-pop shop back home in Mexico, which she runs with her sister. Retirement is treating her well. She still returns to St. Hildegard’s, once in awhile, to teach the new chefs how to prepare dishes perfectly—especially the margeriten lebkuchen of Lena’s childhood and pre-adulthood.

She embraces Esperanza tightly, before she leaves. 

“Visit me sometime, if you have the time, _Mija_ ,” Esperanza says into Lena’s hair. “I’m not getting any younger, you know.”

Her vision blurs at the thought of Esperanza and old age, because the woman will forever be the kitchen matron Lena has come to love throughout her life. “I will. Don’t worry.”

She pulls away, holds Lena by the shoulders. “And when you do, bring Kara with you.”

Lena nods. “I will.”

“And by then, you _must_ have told her you love her.”

Her breath hitches, but she nods anyway. “I’ll try.”

Esperanza’s palm is rough against Lena’s cheek, but it caresses her so gently—so carefully and so motherly that Lena’s heart aches. “I can’t wait to be a customer of your restaurant.”

Lena smiles and grips the hand rested on her cheek and nods, again.

 

* * *

 

**Kardonnay [2:54:12 AM]:**

Are u home alrdy?

 

**Chef Lena [2:54:20 AM]:**

Yes. Tucked into bed, also :)

**Chef Lena [2:54:23 AM]:**

What about you?

 

**Kardonnay [2:54:30 AM]:**

Yep!! :D ok just makin sure, is all

**Kardonnay [2:54:45 AM]:**

Ok good night, Lee!!!

 

**Chef Lena [2:54:50 AM]:**

Sweet dreams, darling.

 

* * *

 

_“Mita,” Lena rested her elbows on the counter, fingers twisting together nervously as she spoke. Her heart felt like it was about to jump right out of her chest, and she might vomit._

_(Perhaps not. Esperanza hated a dirty kitchen, and would certainly not approve of spontaneous puking in inappropriate places, much more so her kitchen. That’s just unsanitary.)_

_But she was still so nervous._

_“Hm, Mija?” Esperanza said, eyes fixed on the dough she was thoroughly kneading._

_(“Sometimes you have to rip the band aid off, so to speak,” Lex said, one night, when he treated a wound on her knee. She had scraped it while running uphill. “So it hurts, sometimes very much so, at that moment in time. But after that, it’s done. It doesn’t hurt anymore.”)_

_And so, Lena ripped._

_“I think I’m a lesbian, Mita.”_

_It physically hurt, when Esperanza stopped all semblances of movement and looked up from her work._

_Esperanza turned to look at her and Lena’s eyes stung, but the tears never fell. Their gazes held momentarily, as long as Lena could stand it before screwing her eyes shut tight. She ducked her head down into her chest, starting to turn and make her way back to her room._

_Two wide, familiar palms came up to stop her movement, and then Esperanza’s arms enveloped her in a hug and that was the last thing Lena ever expected to happen._

_“That’s wonderful, Lena,” the older woman said, stroking Lena’s back in a manner that she knew a mother would, yet her own does not. She pulled away to smooth away the tears that make their silent paths down Lena’s cheeks. “Did you really think that I would love you any less because of it?”_

_Lena thought of her mother. Lena thought of one of her classmates making a face when she caught Lena averting her eyes in the changing room after fencing. She nodded, new tears rolling down her cheeks at the movement. Esperanza clucked her tongue, took Lena into another tight embrace that Lena returned willingly. “Well, Mija, you may receive perfect marks in your tests and you may build flawless machines for science fairs but you are very wrong about me loving you less.”_

_Lena nodded again, wiping at her face and hiccuping. She had prepared herself for all situations except this one._

_“Stop crying now,” Esperanza told her. “I don’t think that girl from the climbing club—Sofia, was it? She wouldn’t want to see you crying and shaking like a wet puppy. Don’t think I didn’t notice that, either. Sofia this, Sofia that.”_

_Lena could only hide her face as an embarrassed flush crept up her neck. Esperanza tossed her a small rag. “I am always right about these things, especially with you. Now clean your face; flour isn’t makeup, you know.”_

 

* * *

 

**Kardonnay [7:21:34 AM]:**

Good morning!!!! Hope you got some rest after working overtime :)

I know you have a busy day ahead so just go do your thing, and do it well, Lena Luthor!!!!!!!

 

**Chef Lena [7:22:01 AM]:**

Thank you, Kara. For everything. I mean it. You’ve been nothing short of wonderful to me.

Say hi to Charlemagne for me when you see her. 

**Chef Lena [7:22:30 AM]:**

And your achievements today will be nothing less than super.

 

“Looks like you’re in a good mood,” Jess comments, before their first morning meeting starts. She sniffs at Lena’s blouse—an extremely unprofessional action, as if that needed pointing out—then pulls back to give her the infamous, incredulous raise of the Hoang eyebrow. “Smells like you’re in love, too. You also smell like throwing me under the bus just because your stand-in Mom came in town but I’ll let that slide because I guess I like you enough.”

Lena bumps her shoulder with her pesky, irritating and all-knowing CFO. “I owe you, Jessica Hoang.”

 

* * *

 

It isn’t the first time Kara has cancelled on her or Charlie, for various reasons. She is sure they aren’t alone in plans having to be scrapped because, well, the good of many is more important. No one needed to explain _that_ to Lena.

Apologies are always uttered with the utmost amount of reverence, but Lena waves them away every time, a smile she hopes conveys an understanding of some sort playing at the edges of her lips. Lena, like every time Kara leaves, doesn’t ask—only nods, accepting the embrace and the brush of lips across her cheek that Kara gives her.

She and Charlie had just arrived at Lena’s apartment after a long day of tinkering with some of the bots in the lab. They’d eventually battled one another in a makeshift arena.

(“Charlemagne, your bot is magnificently evil.”

Charlie gives her The Kara Beam™. “Thank you!”)

Claire is still at the hospital for another overtime evening shift at the ER and Lena had agreed to keep an eye on the twelve year old scientist. It’s been some time since their last science session, with schoolwork, therapy and Lena’s duties. But, this week had worked in their favour so they’d scheduled it as soon as they were free. Charlie had looked for Kara as well, but Lena quickly reassured the girl that Kara was extremely busy with work at the moment but would make time for her as soon as she could.

Lena whips up some chocolate profiteroles for Charlie, after their dinner at a burger joint the girl wanted to try. They stay in companionable silence whilst Lena creates and Charlie plays that ridiculous cat game on her phone.

“Hey, Lena,” Charlie says, to which Lena responds with a hum as she squeezes the piping bag to make small circles of batter. “Did you always want to be L-Corp CEO when you were younger?”

She looks up from her work, gives Charlie a small smile. “No, not really. I was a scientist, and the head of the R&D team until I wasn’t.”

After Lena turns to place the tray into the oven, Charlie looks up from her phone, sipping from her juice box with her trademark reusable metal straw. “Did you always want to be a scientist?”

“I did,” Lena smiles. “I also wanted to be a chef.”

“Which explains why you make such delicious food!”

Lena hangs her head, shaking it and laughing at this wonderful young girl. “Thank you.”

“Why didn’t you become a chef, though?”

“My mother… she didn’t really give me much choice.” Lena manages to get out evenly, maybe too evenly. She tries to push away the bitterness that bites at her heart, not wanting to ruin this perfectly wonderful day. “But at the end of the day, I thought that science did much more, in the macro perspective. I was wrong, though.”

“Your restaurant can be a social enterprise!”

Lena raises a brow and smiles playfully, impressed by this intuitive girl as always. “Yes, exactly. The idea of fine dining is that it’s expensive, so most of the revenue can be directed to the farms where the ingredients originated from.”

Charlie grins at her. “You can help indigenous farms of indigenous people who want their products in the market,”

She tilts her head at the young girl, who is undoubtedly a genius. “Have I ever told you how bright you are?”

The girl taps her chin, a mannerism she has obviously picked up from Kara. Lena feels that familiar warmth spread make its way throughout her veins. Charlie hums, “You have told me precisely three times today. Twice, the last time we saw each other.”

“Good. You deserve to know you are brilliant, Charlemagne.” Lena says, taking out another bowl and placing in some _Royce_ chocolate bars into it, along with some butter, honey and sugar.

“What did Kara want to be?”

Lena answers without a doubt. “An artist. Of course, she still is one, a brilliant one at that as we both know. But she wanted to work, full time, as an artist.”

“Why didn’t she?”

She remembers the nights Kara tells Lena of Clark, of wanting to follow Clark’s footsteps, of wanting to be closer to him. Kara took up journalism, worked jobs that weren’t anything close to what she really wanted, but it still didn’t bring her and Clark together in the way that she wanted to.

What brought them together, however, was something that Kara didn’t explain.

 

(Lena _knows_ he’s Superman, because of Lex. The way his eyes shone with such a deep sorrow when he mentioned her brother in that interview… there was no doubt. She knows that Kara wished to be closer to something that would be akin to home. Though Lena knows, through the files, that Clark has no attachment to Krypton. He was brought up as human as anyone.

She hoped that Kara would share this with her, one day soon. A small part of her _knew_ she would.)

 

“You know.” Lena starts, mixing the chocolate on the stove until it melts. “That you should ask her, the next time you see her.” 

Charlie pouts, slumping in her wheelchair, though she nods. Lena shuts off the stove, sets the bowl aside and away from Charlie. “Hey, don’t look so down. You’ll see her tomorrow, yes? You can ask her then.” Lena turns to move to the fridge, removing a metal bowl with now cooled cream. “Would you like to help me with this?”

“Boy, would I! Can I put the cream into the pipe and fill the prof... prop… pro-whatever you call them?”

“The profiteroles.” Lena laughs, handing her the bowl and the empty piping bag. “Of course, chicken.”

 

* * *

 

_“You are still going to MIT?”_

_“Yes,” Lena sighed, setting her glass down as she averted her eyes from the older woman’s gaze. Esperanza, who had now become her best friend, in the years she had spent here. She scoffed, refilling her cup with juice. “I don’t have a choice. You know Mother.”_

_Esperanza popped the last bite of her meal into her mouth, plate spotless. “But you want to be there? At the MIT?”_

_Lena nodded firmly. “Yes. I love science, Mita. I will always love all of this,” she gestured around the kitchen. “But I… don’t know. I feel like I can achieve good on bigger scale. With science.” When she saw the deep furrow of Esperanza’s brows at her last comment, Lena pinched the bridge of her nose. “I know what good food can do, you have shown me that irrevocably—goodness knows it can. Right now, I just don’t know how.”_

_“Then learn, Lena.”_

_“I can’t!” Lena snapped and recoiled immediately at the venom in her own voice. Sheapologised frantically under her breath as she saw how Esperanza had frozen, breathing too slow, too deep to be content. Lena squared her shoulders and continued: “Even if I wanted to receive formal education that would help me conceive ways to help people with the food that I make, you know_ her _. I don’t have a choice.”_

_Lena turned her head away, as she knew the only thing wrought across Esperanza’s wrinkled face would be utter disappointment._

_Yet her warm timbre warmed her like a log fire, as it always did. “Okay. Go to MIT. Be the best scientist in the world and do good,” she stated evenly. There was nothing but heart-shattering kindness in her voice. When Lena looked up into Esperanza’s honeyed eyes, the fondness and overwhelming pride for this bright girl in front of her conveyed in her easy smile and the embered glint of her eyes. “But I hope you do not forget that this,” she gestured to the kitchen, “is also a big part of who you are.”_

_Lena smiled crookedly. “I will.” The telltale sting of her eyes and the tremble of her lips warned of tears threatening to fall. “And I won’t. I don’t think I ever could even if I wanted to.”_

_Esperanza swept her into an embrace and Lena breathed in the undertones of tobacco and olive oil, the bizarre hybrid a scent that now comforted her. “Just because I’m going to MIT doesn’t mean I won’t ever stop finding ways to help other people with everything you’ve taught me, Mita.”_

_Esperanza ran her fingers through Lena’s hair and cupped her cheek. “I know you won’t, Mija. I know it.”_

 

* * *

 

It takes a few more days for Lena and Kara have a night to themselves, relatively anyway. Tonight, Charlie and Kara are stretched out on Kara’s cosy sofa, the latter picking at cheese and wine in front of the television. Kara stretches, rubbing her eyes with one hand whilst stretching the other arm to the side of her.

Lena is looking through a few diagrams of tech before they’re 3D printed for prototypes on a chair opposite them. She is also trying very hard not to think about the toned, oh so very toned—those _abs,_ holy shit—stomach that was just revealed as Kara grabbed her sketchbook.

Charlie is fast asleep, snug and content in the corner. Kara sits at the other end, Charlie’s toes brushing the side of her thigh as she shifts into a more comfortable position. She opens her sketchbook—about halfway through this one as of now—and starts to move her hand across the page as if she is in a daydream.

Lena clears her throat gently. “I told Esperanza about opening a restaurant of my own,” Lena mutters, not quite looking at Kara. Her heart rate is steady, a bizarre phenomenon, knowing that this _should_ elicit a nervous reaction from her.

(The heavy, steel plated armour that has long wrapped and fit itself around her, since as long as she has been a Luthor really, falls away so instead the sun’s strength and warmth can coat her bones. A calm washes over her. There is only solidarity and sureness, and Lena breathes everything in—and takes the plunge.)

 _Strong as steel,_ Lena thinks, fondly.

Kara drops her pen and shifts her full attention to Lena. “What did she say?”

“She asked me what was stopping me from opening a restaurant of my own,” she says, finally looking at Kara. “I didn’t answer at the time but I know that it’s me. _I’m_ what is in the way. But she said that I should do it once I had figured out what was stopping me, and well, I know now.”

Kara bites her lip. “Well, will you?”

Lena looks at Kara: the girl who had pulled her out of the dreadful monotony of work that she did not love by teaching Lena what it means to be true to yourself; to discover the joy of creating again. She looks at the girl who had made all this possible in the first place; the girl that Lena Luthor is _utterly_ in love with.

All of those black, biting, bruising hesitations flee her, and she exhales slowly, surprisingly steady.

Lena nods. “Yes. I will.”

**Author's Note:**

> [EDIT: 7/3/17] We received feedback that Lena would definitely fire the guy who made a period comment. Thanks for pointing that out! 
> 
> All science stuff is 45.6% made up, if you do ~science~ feel free to correct me or give me suggestions! Also Lena came from an all-girls Benedictine Catholic school!!!! Fight me!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Thanks for reading, 'til next time!


End file.
